


short change hero

by Dabberdees



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, I left it open ended, Thirteen and Graham are the best BroTP since Donna and Ten, i dunno maybe this will be a series, if it is a series ryan and yaz will be in it, thasmin?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 23:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20496791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabberdees/pseuds/Dabberdees
Summary: The Fam are her weakness, and the latest trip proved that when they were stolen from her and hurt.





	short change hero

The Doctor makes her way around the TARDIS, eyes flicking to each switch as she hits them. She planned for something nice and easy this time around, but as often as they do, they tend to go wrong in one way or another.

And it went wrong this time, badly. She looks down at herself and spots the grey of her coat marred with scorches and… red. Not hers, no, if it was then she wouldn’t currently be hiding away in the console room and avoiding them.

_ Her fam. _

Thankfully, this time around, none of them are dead. Just injured and in need of rest, but it was close. So close and she can’t have that, can’t have them nearly dying because people are out to get at her-

“Doc,” She freezes, hands gripped white against the console at the sudden intrusion to her thoughts. “What are you doing here?”

Graham’s tone, it isn’t judging, it’s tired and worn, but it isn’t judging at least. “Taking us back to Sheffield.” Her hands pause on the console. “You should be resting with Ryan and Yaz, Graham.” She flicks a switch half-heartedly. "You were hurt." Beaten? Tortured? The thought sickens her. From what she gathered, he went down first when he placed himself in front of Ryan and Yaz as any grandfather or parental figure would. Like she would've if she was there. Like she should've been.

“I thought you might like some company.”

“No, you thought I didn’t need to be alone.” The Doctor breathes out as she rests against the console. The stress and worry of the day washing across her like a storm. “You’re probably right, too.”

"Am I that easy to read?" Graham asks, and she hears him make his way over. She doesn't answer his question, and she hears him sigh. “After you take us to Sheffield, what will you do? Leave?”

She still doesn’t look at him; she just stares at his hand instead. At least that isn’t injured. “You can heal there.” _ Away from me, away from danger. _ “You’ll be safe.” He reaches his hand out to her and rests it against hers.

“Yeah, but we’ll be safe here and we can heal here as well.” Graham points out. “It would make more sense for us to heal here cause people will only ask questions back in Sheffield.” His hand squeezes hers. “Doc, you know this wasn’t your fault, right?”

His kindness and forgiveness are undeserved. She dragged them all into danger, got Ryan, Yaz, and him hurt. She can’t forgive herself, so how can he forgive her?

“You wouldn’t have been there if I didn’t take you.” The Doctor says while she stares ahead. “You got captured because they wanted to get to _me_.”

There is an exhale of air from the side of her, wheezing slightly. “That’s true,” Graham says, and her hearts sink. Maybe he does blame- “But it’s not really the truth, is it?”

Her brows furrow together, and she takes in a breath as she finally looks at his face. There’s exhaustion there, but that’s not what captures her attention as she looks to the different bandages barely hidden beneath the loose shirt he has on. Bandages that the medics that rescued them placed on them after they took her away-

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t even go there, Doc,” Graham interrupts her. “They aren’t the first scars I have, and they won’t be the last,”

The Doctor frowns at that. “What?”

“I’m old, Doc,” Graham says with a shrug and then a wince when it pulls against the wounds. After a moment, he raises his free hand to the collar of his shirt. The Doctor looks at him puzzled when he pulls the shirt aside to show her a line running across the upper part of his chest, just below his collarbone. “It’s from the portacath.” He glances down at it, careful to keep his head steady. “It’s how Grace treated me when I went through chemo.”

The Doctor nods. “Your cancer.”

Graham nods and smiles, the edges of it barely touching the corners of his mouth. “I still go for my check-ups, everything is fine, but-” He looks back at the Doctor’s face again. “-That’s not what I wanted to speak about, not really, I was just showing you a scar I have, and I got that back on Earth.” He smiles sadly. “Funnily enough it’s a reminder of Grace,”

“How come?”

Graham looks down at the scar. “She was the one who caused the scar, Doc,” He places the shirt back across it. “And I wouldn't change that, well, maybe the whole cancer part, that sucked.” He quips, but the tone in his voice is tired. “But even then, if it weren’t for the cancer, then I wouldn’t have met her, Ryan, you or Yaz."

“Where is this going, Graham?” The Doctor asks, voice clipped.

He looks back at the Doctor again. “This wasn’t your fault, Doc.” Graham states. “I don’t want you blaming yourself for it.” He rests himself against the console, and she misses his hand when he pulls it away from hers. There’s a grimace to his face as well, something he can’t hide from her. “They, the people who did this, they are the ones to blame.” Graham looks to her again. “Not you, you'd never hurt us.” She wouldn't, not intentionally, but she's hurt people before them. People she cared about.

And now she's beginning to understand what he’s getting at now. “Graham, this was different, this didn’t need to happen. If I was just quicker, just-”

“Just what, Doc?” Graham cuts in. “They were professional, they knew we were there to stop them from taking over, and they knew where to hit the one person who could stop them.” He stares directly through her. "How can that be your fault?"

The Doctor turns her head away from Graham quickly; the look in his eyes is too hard to stare at. “They hurt you because of me, Graham! If I never took you there, if I-”

“If I never broke my ankle when I was a teenager, then I could’ve been a professional footballer, Doc, instead of a bus driver or all the other odd jobs I had over the years,” Graham interjects again. “Using ‘Ifs’ mean nothing cause it can’t change what happened.” He pauses, and she hears him take a shaky breath. "If they did work, then I would've used them by now, but they don't work, they just sit within you, building and building until it's too much for one person to take."

The Doctor turns to face Graham again; she walks closer to him. “You three were taken from me, Graham,” He doesn’t speak over her this time. “You should’ve been in my protection, and I failed you all-”

"You never failed us, you daft old woman," Graham says before leaning from the console and grabbing her shaking form into a hug. "You never could fail us, Doc."

She doesn’t break in front of Ryan and Yaz. She needs to be strong for them... and maybe that's wrong, but she never wants them to worry about her, it's her job to worry about them. With Graham, though, it’s different. They often wonder the TARDIS during the night, each one thinking about the shadows that linger over their lives. Sometimes they have a tea together and chat, other times they walk past each other, both on a mission somewhere. It’s never a competition between them, to decide who has lost the most.

Sometimes she finds Graham looking over a picture of Grace and talking to her like she’s there with him. Perhaps she is. She’s never sure whether he knows she’s watching or not, but she stays. Intruding on his private moment, some would say, but it’s not that, not really. If he didn’t want to be found, then the TARDIS wouldn’t lead her to him.

And then other times the TARDIS leads him to her. Whether she’s remembering River or Rose, their names always flash through her mind. Each one like a stab through her hearts and sometimes he joins her. The picture of Grace clutched in his hand like a lifeline.

He occasionally asks about them, and she occasionally tells him, and in return, he sometimes speaks about people before Grace, never their names, just their personalities and she doesn’t know how he lost them, doesn’t know whether they were male or female because he never says.

Maybe he’ll tell her one day, perhaps he won’t. She never pushes him.

It’s why it’s no surprise that he wrapped his arms around her, and she’s reminded of another who used to help when she needed it but thinking about her hurts, so she tries not to. It doesn't hurt like it hurts with River or Rose, or the countless others she loved romantically throughout her long life, or perhaps the one she's beginning to feel the same ache for again as her mind drifts to Yaz. No, with Graham, it's different, it’s platonic, it’s friendship, and it’s one she needs again.

One she craves, even if the fool is hurting himself by hugging her at the moment.

“You shouldn’t be pulling on your wounds, Graham.”

“Probably not,” He replies, voice clearly pained. “But when my daft old friend is hiding away from her friends what’s an old idiot meant to do when she can't see that she needs us like we need her.”

“You’re not an idiot, Graham.”

“I dunno, Doc, I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life,” Graham says as he lets her go. “We all have; it’s what makes us human-” He frowns. “-well, not in your case, anyway.” She smiles at that, but it fades when her eyes catch the bandage again, and she sees that Graham has spotted where she’s looking. “This wasn’t your fault, Doc,” Graham says again. “We decided to come along, and you warned us, you said we'd come back different.”

“Different, Graham, _different_, not marked for life,” The Doctor mumbles and she looks into his tired face again. “You should be resting, Graham, you’ve been through hell.”

“Yeah, I should be,” Graham murmurs. “But I can’t when my alien friend is hiding from us.”

“I’m not hiding-” The look on Graham’s face tells her that he sees right through her weak lie.

“Ryan and Yaz asked about you,” Graham says, his voice is lagging slightly now. "Wanted to know where you went."

“They did?”

Graham nods, the move minor as his eyes close and a yawn escapes from him. “They’re sleeping now,”

The Doctor watches the sagging of his body. “You’re only here to get me to take you back to the medical bay, aren’t you, Graham?” She steps towards him. “Because you won't get there by yourself, not like this.”

He smirks at that, and kind of waves a hand at her. “That wasn’t my plan, but if it gets you outta here and back with your friends, I’ll take it.” He mumbles.

She smiles, weakly at him, but her hearts beat with hope. He still called her his friend. Ryan and Yaz have asked about her. She steps forward and supports him. “Come on, Graham,” He murmurs something that she doesn’t pick up on. “Let’s get you back to the others.” She looks forward again. “Get you all back under my watchful gaze.”

She’s glad he doesn’t see the look on her face — expression set in stone. “You’re my Fam-” Her gaze hardens. “I won’t let anyone ever hurt you three again.”

And that’s something she promises.


End file.
